Things about parenting you didn't know would happen...

While baby Connor naps and Heidi is at nursery I thought I would make a list of things that happened to me that I didn't expect after becoming a mother...

1. LEAKAGES: The first few months after giving birth, every time I coughed, sneezed and don't even get me started on laughing, I seemed to become temporarily incontinent and would have to wear big fat Tena lady adult nappies to stop leakages! This is a lot more common than people would have you know.. Thankfully it went away after a few months though, I felt really attractive in my giant nappy!
2. LEAKAGES PART II: The first few weeks after giving birth (especially when breastfeeding), your boobs just get the urge to start raining on your t-shirt, breast pads are available but they weren't enough for me once my 'let down' reflex kicked in! (when milk really starts coming out), I had to take a change of top with me when I went out, and used big thick mens socks to stop it from happening when I was out and didn't have Connor with me.
3. BYE BYE BREASTS: With my first child, my boobs didn't seem to change that much (I didn't breastfeed with my first) apart from they had dropped a little. After breastfeeding for 3 months with Connor they literally deflated. Currently saving for a boob job! 
4. THE BLACK BELLY LINE: The linea negra, which is common in pregnancy, is supposed to fade after giving birth. With my first child, it was very noticeable but faded almost straight after delivery.. With Connor, 7 months on and I can still see it.
5. OUCH: The soreness 'down there' for the first few weeks after. I had no stitches myself and the soreness for me was almost unbearable, I dread to think how sore it is with stitches. Going for a wee is like having acid poured on you, especially if you had any scratches or tears (I had some scratches), the soreness lasted about 6 weeks with Heidi, and 4 weeks with Connor. To relieve it, when you go for a wee have a jug of lukewarm water, and tip it on you as you go.. or wait until you're just about to get out of the bath and do it, it really does take the pain away. 
6. SEX: Now I will be honest, this was one of the most worrying things for me with my second, I didn't want to have a 'bucket'! It turns out I was worrying for nothing, your va-jay-jay is a bit like an elastic band, it snaps back into place. Sex for me hasn't been any different after having children, although I'm sure some women will disagree!
7. PIERCED NAVAL? Take it out ASAP when pregnant, I kept mine in all throughout and it's stretched terribly, when I was pregnant with Connor it fell out with the ball on, that's how much it stretched! It goes back in now but it hangs and looks really droopy.
8. SWAP GUCCI FOR GEORGE: In the past 4 years, my clothes have been drooled on, sneezed on, pooed on, peed on, chewed, stretched and covered in various gunk. With a young baby there isn't much point to wearing designer clothes for them to be sicked on, with young children, quantity is better than quality (fear not fashion fiends, after the baby years are finished you can wear them again :)) Primark is good for £2 plain t shirts, they wash okay and they're fine for around the house/nursery run/shopping.
9. SLEEP: Although it's an obvious one, you do not realise how sleep deprived you will be in the first few months until it hits you. If your partner is like mine and won't 'do mornings' when he's off work, an afternoon nap when baby naps is perfect for catching up on lost sleep.
10. TOTAL CHAOS IN THE HOME: The first few months are the worst when you're struggling to keep to the golden routine, which is like the bible of motherhood to run a family. So the house may be messier than usual, dishes not done exactly on time - does it really matter so much? Family and friends will understand, I get my friends to help me when they are around at cleaning time! There's more to life than having a shiny floor. Personally, I have got my routine down so I get all my cleaning done in an hour and half each day. 15 minutes per room and stop, have a brew put your feet up and then move on to the next room. If you are stuck at home on maternity leave it helps to break the day up, it doesn't feel like you are cleaning all day but it isn't like you're sat doing nothing either.

Of course, all this is worth it for our precious children... 

Is there anything else you would add to this list? What happened to you that you didn't expect after becoming a parent?