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Saturday, June 23, 2012

My daughter.

As parents, we are expected to be responsible for not just our lives but our childrens' too. We are expected to provide a safe, loving, clean haven for them, in which they can grow into well-rounded positive members of society. 

Sometimes, when I've got a to-do list of 70, a screaming baby with a cold, and a curious 4 year old.. things can get a bit too much. This week I've found myself sitting in the bathroom counting to ten taking deep, long breaths more often than usual.

We should always take a step back to appreciate the amazing things we have in our lives. It is something that is always in the back of my mind but today I would like to take the opportunity to talk about my daughter.

Heidi is at a difficult stage, she has now acquired an attribute which seems to be a favourite among teens - attitude. 'No mummy - I don't WANT to!' in the voice of Verucca Salt that grates down my spine. My angelic baby has changed, has grown and I don't like it! I feel myself reminiscing of days where I could stroke her head and she would fall asleep on my chest and when she cried, there were no tears.

She was born on 21st Feb 2008, a slimy bundle of purple joy who would change my life forever. Those first few moments of her life are hazy due to the drugs of labour but I remember the expression on her face as she was placed onto my belly. Those small dark eyes peering at me as if to say - 'You're mine forever', our eyes locked into a gaze, bonding us as mother and daughter for life.

The early days of Heidi's life were a whirlwind of emotions. I remember putting her in her moses basket next to my bed and not daring to fall asleep in case she would disappear. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, changing her nappy and her umbilical cord fell off - I screamed - waking my mum and dad up because I thought I had hurt her, even though she hadn't made a peep.

She was always what was considered to be a 'good' baby. She gained weight steadily, slept from 7pm to 7am with no night-time wakings from 4 weeks, she was always happy, smiling her cheeky little smile that melted the heart of anyone who saw it. She started nursery early (12 weeks) as I had to go back to college to do my GCSEs and even as a young baby the nursery said she was a pleasure to look after. 

She had two different babysitters for when my mother and I had evening classes, and both of them got pregnant a couple of months after looking after Heidi. She was a good advert to have a baby because of how content she was and how well she slept.

She hit her milestones in good time, was crawling before we knew it and took her first steps at the place where I work now funnily enough, with my aunty. She learnt to talk by the age of two, and before we knew it she was talking in sentences and could communicate properly with us. When this happened, I entered a different phase of parenting. Looking after a defenceless newborn baby is VERY different to looking after a walking, talking toddler. And yet she still melted my heart in every way (that never goes away). With every new achievement I felt a sensation of satisfaction that I can only describe as wonder and awe. It really is amazing to watch something that you grew in your stomach for 9 months, grow up themselves. 

When Heidi started the nursery she goes to now, I saw a side to her that hadn't been there before. When we arrive in the mornings a small group of children crowd around her, 'Heidi's here!', I realise that I'm not the only one who thinks my daughter is special. Anyone, no matter how different can be Heidi's friend, she has got the time for anyone who has got the time for her. She hasn't got a nasty bone in her body. When her brother was born we were worried that she might get jealous or pushed out, that she may turn a little nasty which is so common when there is a new addition to the family.. but we worried for nothing.

Heidi has loved her brother from the minute she saw him. From day one she was helping me to feed him, change him, bathe him. She would, and still does sit next to him whenever he's in the room. She often sleeps in the bed next to his cot too, rather than in her own room.

I could go on for ages so I'll stop now, I just wanted to write how proud I am, and how much I appreciate my little girl Heidi. 

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